Do you guys know how many emotions do we have every day? There are around 25 emotions we express every day, but the core 6 are happiness, sadness, fear, disgust, surprise, and lastly anger. The most used emotion in Anger. Any guesses why? I’ll tell you. Anger is not only used to express dissatisfaction, but also vulnerability. We humans sometimes don’t like to express what we really feel, and we tend to use anger to suppress the other person down in order to protect ourselves.
I decided to write about Anger and how it takes over our brain like poison because literally 4 days ago, my mum and I had the worst argument ever. I misbehaved terribly, but I didn’t realize it until the next morning when I was calm, and I tried to play the argument in my mind to see how and why everything got so bad. Believe it or not, but I lost my mind and I kept talking the same stuff even when the matter was solved, but my brain was not processing what my mum was saying, and all I did was repeat the same sentence again and again. I don’t know how would this make you feel about me, but I want to be completely honest with you, and when I realized my mistake, my heart was filled with guilt and I did burst out into tears because, for me, nothing matters more than family.
I am pretty sure, you might have been in the same situation as me, maybe not against your mum, but definitely against someone else, and try to go back to the situation and calmly try to see the situation as a third person. Getting angry or frustrated is NOT a bad thing! There is nothing wrong with being angry, however, it is wrong if it physically, mentally or emotionally harms the other individual. I definitely would not suggest you to suppress all your negative feelings and only express the positive ones because our brain is built in such a way that if you only express positive all the time and you keep suppressing your negative emotions, then eventually you will suppress all your positive feelings which is not good for your body.
I believe anger takes over the brain like poison. Personally speaking, when I get angry all I see is darkness. I can’t focus on the situation, it’s all dark and I am filled with rage which I believe will vanish once I lash out, and that’s wrong. I am sure there are other ways to express it, and so I did my research, and I also tried it on myself. Firstly, I tried to write it down, and once I wrote it all down and then I deleted it so it is gone forever and it did make me feel good later. I also tried to relax my mind, meditate for a few minutes, and while I was meditating I played the situation in my mind by reacting to it with different kinds of emotions to predict what it would look like in reality, and honestly it also helped me in getting solutions as well.
So before lashing out in anger or rage, try to take a second to take a deep breath and to play out the situation in your mind using a different emotion and approach. If it is a situation that needs to be addressed immediately, try repeating what the other person said. Sometimes it clarifies things to the other person because they may not even understand how what they are saying is coming across until they hear you repeat it. This will also give you time to play it back in your mind.
Lastly, try and limit who you even give the power to, to make your angry. You are the only one who is truly in control of your emotions. So, if you get angry, it is because you give that person the power to do so. By playing the situation back in your head by using different emotions other than anger, repeating what the other person is saying back to them for clarity, and limiting the power you give people over your emotions, you should be well on your way to controlling your anger. Think about it, try to make the change. I’ll be honest with you that is definitely is not easy to make such changes, but once you get used to it, you will be able to widen your horizon!
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